Subprime Lending

todo fit the spc format

rating: 0+x

Project #: SPC-3160

Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Low-income islands are to be screened for SPC-3160 infestations monthly, with installations of surveillance equipment as necessary. If selachian activity is detected, MFT Salmon-6 ("Personal Finance") are to be deployed to pugilate the threat and remedy any injuries to civilians. Agents embedded into national governments are working to implement subprime debt regulation.

Project Components: SPC-3160 refers to manifestations of selachian threats within areas of medium to high population density. A bipedal shark may appear spontaneously when an individual in need of liquidity walks in an unobserved area. Eyewitness accounts have described it as wearing a business suit with a blue or red tie, and note that it is charismatic. It then asks the person (now designated SPC-3160-1) how they are feeling, invariably leading the discussion towards SPC-3160-1's financial problems. The selachian entity will gently place a fin around SPC-3160-1's shoulders, and will offer an amount of local currency appropriate to the situation. While this can be refused, individuals almost always accept. SPC-3160 then dispenses a business card and demanifests.1

Beginning twenty or more days after the initial contact event, the SPC-3160-1 individual will report the selachian remanifesting periodically and demanding repayment. Even in cases where they have sufficient capital on-hand, it will demand further payment in the form of additional interest, fees, penalties, or other charges. SPC-3160 will continue to appear, always in unobserved areas, and verbally harass the debtor, leaving only after some assets or physical property has been confiscated as collateral. These events will escalate in severity and frequency until either the outstanding debt surpasses the median income of that locality, or the person is left with no other assets. Following this, the SPC-3160 entity will then orally consume SPC-3160-1.

Deployment Record: On 2001/02/08 MFT Salmon-6 responded to a SPC-3160 incident in Sea City. After several punches to the jaw and upper chest, the entity was apprehended. The following interview was conducted.

Interviewed: SPC-3160
Interviewer: Dr. Harbinger

«Begin Log»

Dr. Harbinger sits down.

Dr. Harbinger: How are you?

SPC-3160 snorts.

SPC-3160: You fanatical punchers attack me and my leg'tmate business venture 'nd drag me in here, 'nd now you're acting all kindly?

Dr. Harbinger: Alright I'll get right to it then. Why are you going around and giving out predatory loans?

SPC-3160: P'edatory? You think this i' about me 'ating them? If I 'anted to do that, I'd just do it.

Dr. Harbinger: You know perfectly well what I mean. You take advantage of emotionally and financially vulnerable people and-

SPC-3160: 'ow listen here ya boxer,2 I'm just 'unning a leg'tmate business and 'elping people get back on their feet. The demand for 'y product are over'elming. Ya know, if ya wanted to really help them, ya'd use all those ridiculous 'undings to bring them out of 'overty.

Dr. Harbinger: You are hardly helping these people with your "loans": your interest rates seem to grow faster than anybody's ability to pay. Has there been even one customer who you haven't eaten in the end?

SPC-3160 closes its eyes for a moment.

SPC-3160: 'or as long as there are a market need, I 'ill fulfill.

Dr. Harbinger: Is that all you have to say for yourself?

Silence for a few seconds.

SPC-3160: I saw you arrest a 'oung boy for his friendship with a minor shark, but you let the big fishermen 'arvest the ocean endlessly without even 'aiting for the fish to restock.

Dr. Harbinger: Commercial fishing is not anomalous and thus is outside of our jurisdiction.

SPC-3160: I 'est my case.

SPC-3160 was uncooperative for the rest of the interview.

«End Log»