The Horribly Fast Murderer with the Extremely Efficient Weapon, or, Death by Spoon (mdf)
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-4XXX Level 2/4XXX
Object Class: Safe Classified

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An instance of SCP-4XXX, photographed by a later-amnesticized third party.



Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-4XXX is to be contained in a standard containment locker at Site-107. Personnel assigned to SCP-4XXX must be cleared by either the Site Director or SCP-4XXX's head researcher (currently Dr. Rhein); no personnel under Level 3 clearance are allowed access to SCP-4XXX.

Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor any information on SCP-4XXX. If any reported instances of SCP-4XXX are found, a cover story pertaining to a "knockoff" product is to be released and MTF Δ-10 ("Spoon Benders") is to confiscate and destroy any instances of SCP-4XXX.


Description:

SCP-4XXX is the collective designation for the "Super Spoon™" product manufactured by the now-defunct White Plains Research Facility. A standard instance of SCP-4XXX resembles a common metal spoon with a flat, spatula-shaped pommel. Currently, the Foundation has three standard instances and one re-casted instance of SCP-4XXX in containment; two instances have been lost during testing of SCP-4XXX.

The standard instances of SCP-4XXX's anomalous properties manifest whenever the item is used to extract any subject out of a container. Even if the subject is physically larger than SCP-4XXX or physically impossible to extract from the container, SCP-4XXX will extract the complete subject within the container in one scoop. Both the subject and the container do not have to be standard. A secondary anomaly of SCP-4XXX manifests when the subject rests in the head of an instance of SCP-4XXX; the extracted subject will remain supported by the head despite any physical limitations posed by such an action. If the SCP-4XXX instance is tipped, however, the subject will spill from the head of the spoon consistent with standard physics.

Both types of instances appear to not be able to scoop common air. SCP-4XXX has been theorized, if manufactured in an environment without air, to be able to scoop and displace air - however, it cannot be reasonably proven at this time. It has not been determined how the White Plains Research Facility was able to manufacture anomalous objects in an assembly line setting, nor how the facility was able to manufacture anomalous objects at all.


Item History:

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Aerial view of ArmaTech, Inc. (formerly White Plains Research Facility)

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Side view of Building 17.

SCP-4XXX was officially discovered on November 10th, 1992, when an instance of SCP-4XXX was used to commit a murder in Teufel, California. The Foundation subsequently acquired all SCP-4XXX instances: six were kept for experimentation; all others were destroyed.

SCP-4XXX's production was traced to the White Plains Research Facility (hereby WPRF) in Maxim, California; manufacture of SCP-4XXX instances was then pinpointed to Building 17, part of WPRF's Market Outreach branch. MTF Mu-9 ("Null Squad") abducted and detained SCP-4XXX's supposed inventor, Thomas Eigher for questioning, as well as Lance Muska, head of WPRF's Market Outreach. Information relayed by both parties affirmed Mr. Eigher as the creator of SCP-4XXX, although the named individual could not prove any knowledge of SCP-4XXX anomalous properties.

Investigations of the WPRF, Building 17, and Eigher were conducted: these initial investigations resulted in the conclusion that WPRF and related associates were not aware of SCP-4XXX's anomalous nature. However, this conclusion appeared to be later proven false when a re-branding ceremony was held wherein WPRF announced that they would be entering the weapon industry with "new, revolutionary technology" under a new name, ArmaTech, Inc. Foundation agents within the former WPRF had been able to discern that prior to the ceremony Building 17 was barred off from the rest of the facility and more rigorous security policies had been implemented at ArmaTech, Inc. Additionally, Eigher was reported missing several days after the re-branding ceremony.1

Approval was given for several MTF teams to raid Building 17 in an attempt to determine and stop anomalous operations at ArmaTech, Inc. before the corporation disturbed the normalcy any further. However, when the operation was underway, it was discovered that most of the equipment had been stolen, dismantled, or destroyed. A handwritten note was found at the scene that read "better luck next time, spiezers". Investigations are currently underway into ArmaTech Inc. and the author of the handwritten note.


Addendum 01: SCP-4XXX Testing Logs


Addendum 02: Interview of Lance Muska