We Kist the Sun Far too Hard


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Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be hydraulically sealed within a cold storage unit in Site-23. Plans to relocate SCP-XXXX to Foundation Space Site-12 are currently underway.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a bottle of Diet Sunkist.

Once the liquid inside of SCP-XXXX is consumed in its entirety, the nearest star to SCP-XXXX will begin to ontologically change in composition and terms of existence. Due to the nature of SCP-XXXX and it's origins, the details of this affect are unknown.

Current evidence insinuates that once consumed, the affected star will transmute into a mass of Diet Sunkist equal in size. As the liquid contained in SCP-XXXX is digested within the individual, this mass will slowly dissipate until it has completely ceased to exist.

Addendum XXXX-1: SCP-XXXX was found in a six-pack of Diet Sunkist aboard the SCPS Holstrump. This pack was not recorded to be on the craft before lift-off.

The other 5 bottles of Diet Sunkist present in the pack carried the same anomalous affects as SCP-XXXX.

After the failure to find several notable celestial bodies, and the recording of large quantities of Diet Sunkist being present near the presumed location of SCP-████, and anomalous star SCPS Holstrump was sent to gather additional information on, SCP-XXXX's anomalous properties were inferred. SCP-XXXX and the empty bottles of Diet Sunkist where brought back to Site-23 for containment.





<CMehr>: back

<CMehr>: told you it was real:

<CMehr>: (1) ATTACHMENT - scp-xxxx.zip

<FHalm>: holy shit mehr

<FHalm>: thought you were goin batshit when you said this was a thing

<KZandis>: So what are we going to do with it?

<CMehr>: > hydraulically sealed within a cold storage unit in Site-23.

<CMehr>: go to Site-23.

<KZandis>: Where is 23?

<CMehr>: like Vegas, nevada I think?

<FHalm>: vegas is crawling with those things mehr

<CMehr>: yeah well this is our only chance to do anything

<CMehr>: we either die failing or die succeeding, there's no middle ground here

<CMehr>: i'm at Site-14 in Utah right now, I'm going to make a break towards 23, based on your terminal locations you aren't very far

<Fhalm>: wait

<FHalm>: are we actually going to do this?

<FHalm>: kill ourselves by turning the sun into fucking soda?

<CMehr>: the world's already broken

<CMehr>: oh wait im sorry i mean "THE DAYYY IS BROEKEN"

<CMehr>: might as well break it even more

<CMehr>: the egg's cracked, might as well break it all the way open and makes some omlettes as we die

<FHalm>: Not sure I follow.

<CMehr>: we're already screwed halm, this is our only hope for peace

<FHalm>: …

<FHalm>: i guess so

<FHalm>: driving there now

<FHalm>: KZandis: what about you? you ok with this?

<KZandis>: Oh I'm fine lovelies :) :) :) just keep on trucking! go outside and get some sun! i'll be there shortly! See you in Vegas!

*CMehr has banned "KZandis" (k.zandis.scp.net)*

<CMehr>: get here /now/.